The final front-rear

I am one for the statistics. I know you would say that statistics can't be parameters for predictions. However my reply would be, that you haven't looked long enough. Exceptions on match-days become statistics in the future. So all this for one question that struck me and nagged me, till I finally answered it, courtesy Wikipedia of course.

So, did you know that the team which has won the world cup has always defeated the same team, if they have met earlier in the tournament? All, except one exception. Well, two abandoned matches too, but then maybe that's the cricket gods' way of keeping this statistic intact.

The more important way of looking at this is that if the finalists have played each other in the tournament earlier too, the result for the finals is more than likely to go the same way as the previous encounter.

Let me give a few examples and you can judge if this actually holds any merit. 1975 - West Indies beat Australia by 7 wickets at The Oval before trouncing them in the final at Lord's a second time by 17 runs.

1979 West Indies and England met for the first time in the finals at Lord's where Viv Richard's century and England's famous 8 wickets for 11 runs collapse handed them a 92-run defeat.

Now the one you've been waiting for. Before beating West Indies by 43 runs in the finals, India had beaten the mighty Caribbeans in the first match of the tournament. Importantly this was the first time West Indies had ever lost a game in the world cup. The teams had met a second time in the group stage when the West Indies had avenged their defeat but the India took the third of the meetings to win their most important match to date. West Indies' two losses to India were their only ones in the first three editions of the world cup.

In 1987, Australia and England met for the first time in the finals coming from different groups.

In 1992, surprise winners Pakistan had only won half their matches to barely scramble through to the last four by virtue of a one point advantage over Australia and West Indies. Now Pakistan hadn't beaten England in the round robin. In fact if the cricket gods wanted to prove me wrong, they would not have done this. Pakistan were bowled out for an astonishing 74. However, quoting the famous Delhi band Parikrama's song, 'But it rained'. Pakistan managed to gain a point out of that match, qualified for the semis and managed to beat England the next time they met them, at the MCG for the famous crystal cup.

The 1996 world cup could have easily added to this tally with Sri Lanka being in the form that they were in. However eventual losing finalists Australia forfeited the match due to safety concerns about playing in the island nation.

1999 world cup is the only exception to this statistic, when Australia lost to Pakistan in the group stages by 10 runs before brushing them aside in the finals by 8 wickets with 30 overs to spare.

Come 2003 and we are back in business. India's dream safari had just one exception. The mighty Oz were at the start and the end of it. India lost just two out of 11 matches it played in the tournament. Both times we were given a hammering by Australia, including the finals.

In 2007 Australia beat Sri Lanka by 7 wickets in the super eights before handing out a 53 run defeat in the rain-hit finals to the islanders and the third successive world cup to themselves.

And with that my fellow cricket fans, I rest my case. Now we may never know if it is the pressure or superstition that does it, but it is very difficult to get the monkey off your back once it enters your head.

Me, from a distance

I saw me standing there, holding her hand
She said something in my ear
What was it?
I couldn't hear
You see, I was standing too far

Then she let my hand go and walked away
I stood there, looking after her
Was That a tear in my eye?
I couldn't see, I was standing too far

Status Message

So a friend asked me the other day, why had I stopped blogging. I said that it was because I hadn't really had something to say. Then I told her the truth. I was disappointed when the total number of comments on my blog so far was 0. But was that the whole reason? Maybe... maybe not. It definitely was one of them. I hadn't stopped writing, I had just stopped writing on my blog. So the question stays. I am writing here again... anyway. Not for her of course... for myself. You know how some of your favourite posts on facebook get the fewest comments or 'likes' you wonder what are the reasons? Well the easier answer is 'not important'. But for somebody who hopes to become a storyteller, I need to ponder over this question a little more than just be satisfied with 'not important'. So what is it really that gets people going? Of course facebook by any stretch of imagination cannot be the right sample of the 'market' that I am hoping to conquer one day, but definitely indicative of it. So apart from the obvious facts:

1. The people on facebook who see my status are friends at various levels (and that might not really work in my favour always... yeah i am just that sort of a person the love-hate types)
2. Blogs and Status messages are almost always self-indulgent
3. Sometimes people just don't have something to say back to you

...what is it that gets or rather entices a reaction from others, in other words makes them notice and react? Of course you could be taking refuge in some easier reaction getters like love, relationship, and sex.

Sometimes you simply happen to be a girl who has a lot of droolers or followers or worshippers who would react to absolutely anything you say or in this case post. But given the fact that I am not a girl (followed or otherwise) and want to talk about more than love, sex aur dhokas, what is it that gets people to react? A question that needs to be answered, a thought that deserves another, a memory that comes back and you hope is shared and cherished by some friends... what?

Some one actually called me the most status message-conscious person that she knows. Is it the truth? I don't know? I am certainly not the most regular ‘updater’ of status messages, I know. But am I the most status message-conscious person? I can't truly say. So while I still search for the answer to this question, let me just go and put up a my status message... haven't done it for quite a few days now.

India - the land of opportunities

Star has just launched it's 24-hour Star-CJ shopping channel. That makes at least 2 channels in my knowledge with home shop 18 being the other one. And obviously we have those home-shopping vignettes dubbed in Hindi which have provided us with quite some fodder for fun specially with that distinct style of dubs (read 'mere ganjepan se mujhe bahut sharam aati thi... main kaafi niraash ho gaya tha'). Anyways back to the point. This new shopping channel certainly fits the idea of a dedicated shopping channel into a trend and so we are marching steadily towards the 'American satellite TV market' style which has dedicated channels for just about anything. Though shopping fits right there with the Indian genre, I do not think others like a gardening channel would be a success in India. Therefore I feel it is my duty to suggest a few 'dedicated' channels that would be runaway successes in India. So here goes...

1. Saas-Bahu Channel (Scope of at least 2 channels as one would be owned solely by 'K'ekta Kapoor, and we can have the rest of the industry combine to get another one running to give her stiff (pun intended) competition until Warner Bros. decides to buy this channel and put Ekta out of business)

2. The failure of Real TV clearly shows that Reality shows cannot be restrained to one channel so we need specialisation people specialisation.

a. Singing competition channel (with famous celebrity gurus fighting with each other on screen eg. Himesh Reshamiyah, Anu Mallik, Preetam, Abhijeet, Asha Bhonsle and so on. Basically any singer or music director with more than 3 songs to his or her credit... long haired ones, who have copied rock songs preffered)
b. Singing competition channel (without famous celebrity gurus but with scheming boys and catty girls to plot against each other and also capable of physical fights at a drop of Naushad saabs hat)
c. Singing competition channel (copy of international formats)
d. Singing competition channel (Comprising of people who can actually sing. To be hosted by Sonu Nigam and Shaan on 12-hour shifts. TRPs not guaranteed. Warner bros. will have to buy it and develop it as a competitor for any of the above Singing Competition channels with guest international celebrities who can fight in public)
e. Dance competition channel (Girls only. Guys who dance like girls subject to approval by the channel producers)
f. Dance Competition channel (Celebrity out of work teaming with Choreographer looking for work)
g. Dance Competition channel (Celebrity out of work teaming with Retired Cricketer or cricketer dropped from Team India. Only top names from other sports may apply, subject to approval by the channel producers)
h. Dance Competition channel (Kids 0-5 yrs old... Pregnant mothers may apply in advance)
i. Dance Competition channel (Kids 5-8 yrs old... comic timing and ability to drop on your knees and kiss the stage to massage Judges' egos is a must)
j. Dance Competition channel (Kids 8 years and older. Candidates have to agree to wear funny makeup and costumes)
k. Big Boss house channel (Ability to abuse in hindi is a must)
l. Complicated Games format channel (U'll need to watch it for atleast 3 months to figure out all the rules, and as soon as you do, they'll change 'em)
m. Roadies channel
n. Roadies audition channel
o. Couples playing for money and ending up dumping each other channel
p. Reality channels update news channel

3. Advertising channels (not to be confused with shopping channel as here ads would not be more than 40 seconds long)
a. General advertisement channel (with a 3 minute serial every 7 minutes)
b. The Bachchans advertisement channel
c. Dhoni advertisement channel
d. Shahrukh vs Aamir advertisement channel

4. Guess the bollywood actor whose face we've morphed channel

5. Guess the cricketer whose face we've morphed channel

6. Bollywood upcoming releases promos channel

7. Shahrukh vs Aamir new developments channel

8. Bebo vs Deepika vs Kat vs Aish vs Piggy Chops channel

9. Stand-up comedy channel (pjs, owner Navjot Singh Sidhu)

10. Stand-up comedy channel (slap-stick, owner Archana Puran Singh)

11. Stand-up comedy channel (Adult jokes, owner Shekhar Suman)

12. A series of educational channels where you can learn while making Samosas

a. How to be a reality show judge channel
b. What is cool this season in clothes channel
c. What is cool this season in shoes channel
d. What is cool this season in accessories channel
e. How to bargain channel
f. What is cool and what is not channel (to be hosted by Sonam 'Aisha' Kapoor)
g. How to get a phoren accent channel
h. Cooking Non-veg items channel
i. Cooking healthy veg items channel
j. cooking phoren items channel
k. Cooking various Indian foods channel (TRPs not guaranteed. Warner Bros. will have to buy it and convert it into phoren food by phoren chefs channel - subtitles must)

13. And a series of sports channels

a. India-Pakistan cricket and other controversies channel
b. India-Australia cricket channel
c. India kicks Paki ass channel (with a special focus on cricket)
d. India kicks Oz ass channel (with a special focus on racism)
e. Cricket Controversies channel (with a special focus on Indo-Pak and Indo-Aussie cricketing relations)
f. Why India lost the match analysis channel (Here the expert is you, the viewer)
g. IPL controversies channel
h. Kings XI Punjab channel (with special focus on owner-player huggings. To be hosted by an out of work S Sreesanth. Every hour one lucky viewer will get to slap him)
i. Sachin Tendulkar channel
j. Mahendra singh Dhoni channel
k. Sania Mirza Channel (A joint Indo-Pak collaboration)
l. Hockey Channel (TRPs not guaranteed, Warner Bros. will have to buy this and make it a seasonal channel... Hockey Sex scandals season, other games sex scandals season, CWG games controversies season, why India sucked at CWG games season, cricketers marriage season)

14. Politicians and their nautankis channel (oh shit that one already exists... aptly titles LS Tv)

So those are the ones I could think of as of now... but this obviously is an ever-expanding list. My prediction - by the year 2020 we'll have three times more channels than USA and India would be the largest producer of television shows in the world (if we already aren't). So untill next time... happy watching.

No games, just sports...

Yet another case of political blame games totally cashed upon by the media... Well stoke it as long as the TRPs are coming in...
So what are commonwealth games... where did the last 3 games take place (without the help of a search engine if you can)... how many medals did India win last time round... which country topped the last games... sadly there might be a few who'll know these answers but that's the truth very few (I certainly know none of these answers).Here's a brief history cortesy - wikipedia - 'The event was first held in 1930 under the title of the British Empire Games. The event was renamed as the British Empire and Commonwealth Games in 1954, the British Commonwealth Games in 1970, and gained its current title in 1978.' Now make no mistake... it is the third largest games in the world after Olympics and Asian Games... but can't really shake the stink of colonialism, can it.

Okay the last games were in Melbourne... I am sure the world formed a 'great' opinion about the city during the games. Surely the people all around the world discard whatever they know about us based on the 'success' of these games (whatever that is). And most importantly so what? So what's the big deal about India's image anyways... Cows on the road, land of the kamasutra, a powerful ecomony, snake charmers, bollywood song and dance, errr do you have computers in India? and of course Yoga.

I think we really need to stop getting so personal about things we don't care about. What makes you think the games will fail... what makes you think they'll be super successful... Don't we all know the reality... games will come, we'll be on our best behaviour for a fortnight and the games will go... Hotels will make money, government will lose some and we'll all go back to our respective lives. And Mr Kalmadi and Mr Aiyer will have to find new ways of staying in news...

Respected Mr Aiyar tells us that this money could be put to better use... surely sir, but I would like to say the same thing about your work as the Panchayati Raj Minister of this country... haven't heard you say much about the khap panchayats and their latest 'justice'... have we? I remember seeing your house (one of the two allocated to you for some reason) when I was part of a the technical crew for an interview a couple of years ago. What I remember is 2 gardens the size of football fields... and your 'love' for antiques... better use of the money eh?

And in the same breath the less said about Mr Kalmadi the better! Here is some (courtesy wiki again) - During the felicitation ceremony that had been arranged to honour the three Indian medalists at the 2008 Summer Olympics, Kalmadi reportedly walked out because he had not been offered a chair next to the Vice-President of India Hamid Ansari. In January 2010, former Indian hockey captain Pargat Singh accused Kalmadi of being a 'sports mafia.

35,000 crore includes a lot of development work for Delhi (I know, let's not discuss the quality, but when can we ever?) And they at least hope to make some back with TV rights. So the actual hit because of the games is much less... Now about spending this money better... well we do have a lot of money spent in India that could have been spent better. Defence budget!!! Do most of us even know how much that is? Much more my friends, much more and a recurring one at that! How many of us ever tracked (or even care about) the 60,000 crore farmer subsidy... how has that been used... much bigger figures no? We are buying aircrafts worth $10 billion... thats more than 45,000 crore! Hmmm that is of course easily explainable... remember Kashmir! Yeah that is certainly more important than food and employment etc. quoted by the 'game-bashers'

I remember a line from the movie 'What women want'... no games just sports... Not a chance when you are in Indian politics...

The platform ticket that exploded and the bomb that didn't!

Well this is how it begins… I know most of you don’t care that it’s my first blog. But I do and since I control things here you can’t do anything except… well, read on.

So first things first… Went to pick my mother up from the Nizamuddin railway station as she was coming back to Delhi from Pune. (I know, I know… but she’s scared of flying and I can’t change her ways at the age of 57 and I will always the lose the argument about costs right? Also office was paying for the trip and the pricks (read LIC) don’t pay airfare only ’second AC’… so Ma wins on all counts here) So back to the story… like a good boy (yes yes, boy… sorry my blog and at 28 I can be a boy here if I want)… so anyways like a good boy I went to get a platform ticket… Like a good boy I stood in the line with about 20 guys in front and of course, the ‘ladies’ line predating the same window.

Now while standing there waiting and trying not to breathe (I am sorry but a spade’s a spade, all of them did stink… well most of them) Now if you have ever been to a railway station recently ( I highly doubt) but if you have then you have to have searched around for terrorists and those nifty little bomb placers who are trying to blend in before their ghastly act but you obviously feel that you have an eye to locate such people especially because you’ve seen some sketches on TV and all terrorists look exactly the same… You also look for unattended luggage and you always spot it, your heart skips a beat, you look around for a cop, you contemplate forgetting about the platform ticket but you’ve spent 10 minutes and there are just 8 people + the ‘ladies’ line left, in fact at moments you may even think about reporting the matter to cops, if you can locate one. But that would also mean making your personal insecurity public. Between homeland security and public embarrassment you obviouly choose the latter, so you dismiss that idea right away. Chances are that the owner would come and pick it up and you would laugh at yourself and your sudden bout of paranoia, but what if no one comes to collect it while you are there… well in that case you would spend the next 10 minutes (which will seem like at least 3 hours) standing there, deciding not to look at the ‘bomb’ lest the terrorist who’s obviously somewhere in the vicinity watching the ‘bomb’ spots you looking at the ‘bomb’, but you can’t help stealing a few glances at the ‘bomb’.

Your turn comes (finally). Well remember you just asked a lady to get in her line and this was of course spotted by the woman at the ticket counter… she refuses you the ticket as the window is ‘old, disabled and women’ only. Screw the fact that at least 20 non-old, non-disabled and non-women guys have scored at the window just before you! Learn to keep your trap shut. But you don’t, you argue, and poetic justice, the woman you asked to get in line now asks you to get out of the line as obviously you don’t have any business there. 20 minutes wasted, Ma’s train’s already reached, the old/disabled line with only young and healthy men are now sniggering at you and so is the ‘ladies’ line, the lady behind the counter is scorning at you and the lady I asked to get in line… well I can’t see her face as she’s buying her ticket now… I am sure with a huge smile on her face. Well screw the ticket, I’ll take a chance… so much for being a good boy… honesty my ass.

Go to the platform, hug mom take her luggage, look around for the guys who check your platform ticket, come back to the car, breathe a sigh of relief for the first time in the last one hour, spend another 20 minutes getting out of the parking abusing people coming from the ‘wrong’ side… and you remember the ‘bomb’… what bomb… oh that!!! Perhaps it wasn’t, some poor guy who forgot his bag… well until next time at the railway station.